We spend our lives looking for something we’ve never lost. I guess that’s why it’s so “hard” to find it...
We have been programmed to believe that feelings such joy, peace and love depend on external circumstances in order for us to feel them.
Without even noticing it, we become slaves to what we believe “brings happiness” to us; money, relationships, success, beauty and power.
We are lost in a loop of impermanence, looking for few tastes of what can be permanent; chasing a checklist of false needs that are supposed to "turn on" what is already within us.
The world is in need of awareness. We can’t afford any more separation or greed. We must be pioneers of unity. We need to realize that life is our common denominator and blessings like joy and love are already within us, ready to be shared.
Let’s talk about Joy
Joy and gratitude are feelings that are rare to see in people these days.
Is it possible that we all have access to these feelings on daily basis, yet we have forgotten how to connect with them?
Is it possible that we are so involved in our desires that we overlook all the reasons why we should be grateful for?
Is it possible that we all have the capacity to achieve greatness, yet we don't know how to make the journey part of the reward?
I believe joy and gratitude are better feelings than the overrated happiness, because happiness became a great "idea" that takes a long checklist in this material and predisposed world.
Joy, on the other hand, means being in harmony with who we are, joy means that we are grateful and aware of our purpose, joy can still be there in "difficult" moments because we know that everything will pass and one day we will understand the reed of each experience.
Isn't life enough to be joyful?
The Best Version of Oneself
I always thought the best version of myself was the strongest, enthusiastic, joyful person that I actually found within me. But I was wrong.
The best version of myself shows up when I love the most, when I give the most, when my heart is open in my prayers and “me” disappears.
The best version of myself isn’t an image, isn’t something I need to achieve and it has nothing to do with external expectations.
The best version of myself has always been there, it’s what God has planned for me, it’s the realization of who I am.
Be aware of narcissists
To all people who have kind hearts...
Be aware of narcissists. They hunt kind hearts because one of their strategies is making you feel like a bad person and good people despise the idea of being bad.
No matter how horrible they treat you, they will always find the way to manipulate you and make you feel it was your fault.
Even if their actions caused you physical, mental or emotional damage, they will never take accountability and they will find the way to put it on you.
Remember mis amores, if you have seen yourself trying everything to make it work, always walking on eggshells around them, feeling down most times you interact with them, feeling crazy after they twisted or manipulate information; then it’s time to do something about it to honor your mental and emotional health.
You have nothing to prove to anyone. If the majority of your relationships are healthy, if you know your heart is kind, if you are open to communication and you take accountability for your actions, then don’t doubt yourself and let go of the chains!!!!
My lesson of the year: Acceptance.
A few weeks ago, I had a severe flood in my house. It was a disaster; not much for the inconvenience or the damage, but because of who caused it and the way it was handled.
However, the flood has been a blessing in disguise, because it was the last lesson I need to understand that no matter how hard you try to prove your kindness, there will always be people who choose to use it against you and make you feel guilty for their own actions.
Understanding this truth was really hard, because in my heart, I was always feeding the hope of change, communication, forgiveness and peace. However, that idea was making me suffer, because we can’t change people; we can only change ourselves.
In conclusion, acceptance is the key to freedom and I would like to share some wisdom from Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, that took me to my core. I hope it is as enlightening as it was for me:
When we don't accept an undesired event, it becomes anger. When we accept it, it becomes tolerance. When we don't accept uncertainty, it becomes fear. When we accept it, it becomes adventure. When we don't accept other's bad behaviour towards us, it becomes hatred. When we accept it, it becomes forgiveness. When we don't accept other's success, it becomes jealousy. When we accept it, it becomes inspiration. Acceptance is the key for handling life well. To the degree you are awake, everything around you brings knowledge. If you are not awake even the most precious knowledge does not make sense. Awareness depends on your ability to open and shut your windows. When there is a storm you need to shut your windows, else you will get wet.
When it is hot and suffocating inside, you need to open your windows. Your senses are like windows, when you are awake you have the ability to open and shut your windows at will, then you are free. If your windows cannot be shut or opened at will, you are bound. Attending to this is spiritual practice.”
~ Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Giving and Receiving
I have always felt more comfortable giving than receiving, which is an imbalance that I have discovered in me, along my path of healing.
There are many behaviors and trends that have roots in childhood trauma and are very common, but they are hidden, ignored or even reinforced. That is why we must be responsible for our own healing, because in this society, mental and emotional health are like black holes.
As a child, I had the sensed that I wasn’t being accepted for who I was, but rather for my accomplishments, then receiving acceptance was always preside by high performance.
Outside doors, narcissistic mothers used their kids to showcase us to their friends and family and we are recognized in public for what we do instead of what we are. Inside doors, narcissistic mothers criticize, gaslight and belittle; leaving us with a thirst of overachieving so we will have, at least, her outdoors acceptance.
When that happens, we learn that we will be always valued for what we bring to the table and we develop blocks to receiving because we aren’t sure if the giver is unconditional and we are afraid of being in debt with someone else. Then we realized that we need to heal, because giving and receiving, should be balanced in our lives.
On my healing journey, I discovered that when we take a step toward God, he takes ten toward us, regardless of religion or spirituality. I say this because last week I felt that God was leading me to have a moment of deep healing.
I had this beautiful meditation where I returned to a significant moment in my childhood. I came back to tell myself (my inner child) how much I love her. I realize that love has always been with me, that all the love I need was the love of God and my own love and that they were unconditional, strong, enough and always within me. I realized that I needed my mother to be who I am and learned tenacity and discipline in order to overcome all the obstacles that awaited me and, now I understand, that she loved me, she just didn't know how to do it, because she also has her own story.
By the way, and this is going to sound strange to some people, but I also realize that I was really there. I remember that moment, I remember how I felt, I remember that it was important to me and now I know why ... Because my 42-year-old self came to me, to give me all the love I need...
Anyway, for those who are curious about what I said to my 5-year-old self:
“I came here to hug you and make you feel so loved, to tell you that I am proud of everything you will overcome and achieve, I advise you to allow yourself to be a little irresponsible at times and not to worry so much, I promise you that no matter how hard some experiences will be, God will always bless you with the strength you will need...
My little wonderful, happy, amazing child, you are loved, you will always be with me and I am so proud of you...”